What pisses me off the most about my PC breaking is the fact it's my own fault. I should not have been trying to mess with the CD drive while the computer was running. A short circuit probably fired the motherboard but hopefully my hard drive is safe. Somebody more knowledgeable than me could fix the thing but I don't have that kind of money. Granted, that computer isn't really needed for anything important as it's just for gaming but that's one of my few hobbies so it hurts me. My mom doesn't know yet and I don't want to tell her because there that will have to be something she'll have to get in future. This sucks. I miss my games. I don't want to hook up the PS2 again and I'm tired of playing Pokemon on the Nintendo DS.
I know I complain alot but please believe me when I tell you that I want to be a positive person. I want to be very happy and think good of people. Sometimes I over exaggerate issues because of my anger and I definitely do spend too much time online. There are a few people that I talk to regarding my issues but I don't want to burden them. Most of my internal feelings manifest as angry rants. One day I will be happier.
Man, I don’t wanna go to sleep. There isn’t a whole lot for me to wake up for anyways. I’ll wake up, walk my mom to work, come home and go back to sleep. This is what I always do until she gets out of work. I love my mom so much but I can’t find a reason to enjoy life outside of keeping my mom safe/happy. It’s not like I think I have the absolute worst life ever because I don’t but I wish I was happier. As a kid, I smiled so much but now most of my smiles are “forced” in a way. Almost like I’m mocking the concept of laughter and not truly laughing. My uncle stopped talking to me because I think he’s in another surgery and he’s one of the few family members I can rely on. This is quite bothersome but hopefully things will be better soon.